Before You Answer a Counteroffer, Get It in Writing

Your employer has answered your resignation with a counteroffer, and you owe someone an answer. Before you decide, get the counteroffer in writing, tell the new employer when you'll answer, and set a date that comes before their deadline.

Whether to stay is a separate question, and Job offer or counter-offer? covers how to weigh it. This post covers the days in between: what to ask for, what to tell each side, and how to answer once you've decided.

What you have so far

A counteroffer usually arrives in a meeting. Your manager or someone from HR tells you what they can do: more pay, a new title, a different project, a conversation about your role next year. You leave with notes, and the new employer has already sent you a letter.

So you're comparing two different things. The new offer has terms on paper. The counteroffer, at that point, is a set of statements. Some of them may become terms. Some are intentions that depend on a budget, a manager or a review cycle you don't control.

Sort what you heard into two lists:

• Terms: a number, a date, a title, a reporting line. Things someone could write in a letter today.
• Intentions: "we'll look at your role next year", "there's room to grow here", "we'll find a better project for you". These can still be honest. They aren't terms yet.

An intention can become a term. "Your title changes to senior on March 1, approved by your director" is a term. "We'll revisit your level in the next cycle" is not, until it has a date and a person responsible.

Ask for it in writing

Send one email asking for the counteroffer in writing. Keep it short and neutral: you're taking it seriously and want to see the terms before you answer.

Ask for:

1. Base pay and the date it takes effect. A raise that starts at the next review cycle is a different offer from one that starts this month.
2. Title or level, if that changes.
3. Scope and manager. If they offered a different project or team, ask for it to be named, with a start date.
4. Any bonus and its conditions. If there's a retention bonus, ask whether you'd have to repay it if you leave before a certain date.
5. Anything promised for later, with a date and the name of whoever is responsible for it.
6. What happens to your resignation. If you stay, you'll want written confirmation that it's withdrawn and your notice period no longer runs. Whether you can take a resignation back depends on your contract and where you work, so don't assume it.

How your employer answers this email is information too. A company that puts the terms in writing within a day or two has at least committed to those terms on paper. If the answer is "let's talk about it", or the written version is smaller than what you heard, compare that version.

Keep the new employer informed

The new employer is waiting while you do this. What you can tell them depends on where you are.

If you haven't accepted their offer, you can say that your current employer has made a proposal and you'll answer by a specific date. You don't owe them the details. Don't use the counteroffer to ask the new employer for more unless you'd accept their offer if they matched it. They may say no, or read the request as a sign you're not committed.

If you've already accepted, taking the counteroffer means withdrawing a yes. That has costs with the new employer and possibly with whoever referred you, and your signed offer may say something about withdrawing. Accepted a job offer, then got a better one covers what to check before going back on an acceptance.

If you haven't accepted the new offer in writing yet and you resigned anyway, that offer can still change. Job offer withdrawn after resigning covers what to do if it does.

Set your own date

You have two outside clocks: the new employer's deadline and your notice period. Pick a date before both. Tell your current employer when you'll give your answer and that you need the written terms before then.

Decide now what you'll do if the written terms haven't arrived by your date. If you leave that open, the delay can make the decision for you: the new employer's deadline passes and the counteroffer becomes your only option.

If you need more time from the new employer, ask once, with a date and a reason. How long you have to accept a job offer covers how to ask.

Answering

When you've decided, answer both sides on the same day if you can.

If you turn the counteroffer down, thank your employer, say you've decided to go ahead with the move, and confirm your last day in writing. You don't need to argue with the terms or say what would have changed your mind.

If you accept it, reply to the written terms and confirm that your resignation is withdrawn. Then tell the new employer, by phone if you can, and follow up with a short written note.

An example

A hypothetical, with invented details. Marta is a data analyst who resigned after receiving an offer for a senior analyst role. Her manager responded with a meeting: a raise to match the new salary, a promotion "at the next cycle", and a move to the pricing team, which is the work she wanted.

She sent the email. The letter that came back two days later had the raise, effective the following month. The promotion said "to be reviewed in the March cycle", with no level named. The pricing team move wasn't in it.

So the written counteroffer was a matching salary in the same role. The promotion and the team change were still intentions. Marta's question changed from "do I stay for more money, a promotion and a better team?" to "do I stay for more money?" Whether the answer was yes depended on why she had started looking, which Job offer or counter-offer? covers.

The position you're deciding from

How hard you can push for written terms, and how long you can hold the new employer, depend on what you'd do if one side walked away. That comes down to your savings, how quickly you could find another offer in your field, and how much your current employer depends on the work you do. If another offer would take you months to find, losing this one while you wait for written terms costs more than it would if you could find another in weeks.

Accepting or turning down the counteroffer commits you to one of two positions, and the written terms only show part of each. A Position Audit looks at the rest before you answer.

A Position Audit reads your career the way an investor reads a position. It asks what you really have, what you might be overestimating, what's working against you, and what you can still change before you move. You get a clearer view of what you can count on, where you're exposed, and what to check or improve before you act.

See a real Position Audit →

How QuickInsight analyzes decisions

FAQ

Should I ask for a counteroffer in writing?

Yes. Ask for the pay, the effective date, the title or level, and any change in scope, manager or bonus in an email or a letter. A change promised for later needs a date and the name of the person responsible. If your employer won't write it down, you're comparing a written offer with a conversation.

How long can I take to answer a counteroffer?

The limit is usually set by the other side: the new employer's deadline and your notice period. Pick a date before both, tell your employer when you'll answer, and decide what you'll do if the written terms haven't arrived by then.

Should I tell the new employer about the counteroffer?

If you haven't accepted the new offer, you can tell them you're weighing a response from your current employer and when you'll answer. If you've already accepted, taking the counteroffer means going back on a yes, so treat it as that decision.

How do I turn down a counteroffer?

Thank your employer, say you've decided to go ahead, and confirm your last day in writing. You don't need to argue with the terms or explain what they would have needed to include.

QuickInsight is informational only. It is not legal, financial, or other regulated advice. For questions about your resignation, notice period or a signed offer, talk to an employment lawyer where you work. If you are in crisis, get human help first.